Imposter syndrome.

Most days I think I look like this:

Yet I strive to look like this:

“Look” is perhaps not the correct word to use here, so I’ll try to define it better. When I say “I look like this,” I’m referring to the way I’m perceived by others or even by myself (aren’t we our own harshest critic??).

This may be my physical look. My competency doing something. My level of expertise. This may have nothing to do with how I actually look but instead have everything to do with how I present myself as an expert or not-quite-an-expert (but working my way there).

This seems to rear its head most when I am starting something new. I am deeply aware of how much I don’t know. How much there is to learn and improve upon. I want to be the person I will be 6 months from now (after I’ve worked my way through all that learning I have to do!).

Yet, there’s no way to rush it. To skip ahead. To beat the line.

If I were my own best friend I would remind myself that imposter syndrome is a sign I am doing something challenging. I am growing. I am stretching my limits. In some ways it’s a really good thing. Even though it’s deeply uncomfortable it also means I am not stagnant.

So, as hard as it is, embrace that feeling of imposter syndrome. Engage in the process of learning, growing, making mistakes and missteps, improving. Somewhere down the road, through all that experience, you will morph from A to B. Enjoy that sense of accomplishment, becoming that new shape. And then, push further, to C. There is always something new to learn and for that I am deeply grateful!