I did a thing for someone.

Last year I did a thing. When I set out to do this thing I had a pretty clear idea of who I was doing it for. But then, as I got into the nitty-gritty of doing it, I got less clear on who it was for. I started thinking it could be for lots of someones. Not just the someone I started making it for in the beginning.

So I shifted how I was making it so it would be for more someones and less for the specific someone I had in mind. I finished making it. I sent it out into the world. And nothing much happened.

As the months went by, after I did this thing, this little voice started popping up in my head. The voice pointed out I made this thing, but I didn’t really get it into the hands of who I made it for. I did this thing, but I didn’t really do it the way I wanted to do it. Somewhere along the way I got a bit lost. My focus got blurry and I ended up on a slightly different road.

I kept telling the voice it was fine. I didn’t need to make this thing for that particular someone. It was fine making it for lots of someones. It was alright that I didn’t make it for the specific someone I had in mind in the beginning.

But the thing is, the voice was right.

So over the past few months I went back and reworked the thing into what I originally wanted it to be. It’s a thing for a specific someone, not for everyone. And now I’m going to send it to those specific someones and see if they want it. Like it? Need it?

And now, I’m scared.

So, if I were my own best friend, I would remind myself it’s okay to be scared. You see the first time I kind of hid behind the idea of making it for lots of someones. I let it be non-specific. That’s an easy place to hide. I’m not really “on the hook” there. And in the end, a few months after putting in all this time and effort, I found myself unsatisfied with this thing I did. Because I didn’t truly make it for who I wanted to make it for. And I didn’t give it to the people I wanted to give it to.

So, despite being scared, like really uncertain about what’s going to happen. Despite knowing I might fail spectacularly. Despite knowing the specific someones may not like, need, or want the thing I made. Despite all that, I have told myself I should go for it, make it, and get it into the hands of the people I made it for. Because maybe, just maybe, this will be something the specific someones want or need. Maybe, just maybe, it will not be exactly what they need, but they’ll give me feedback and then I can make it better. Perhaps with feedback I can make it into exactly what they do need. And that would be pretty great!